Dear dory,

Again, the relationship between me and him went on to the rocky side. The reason was because of his past. We went out with daryl and cs in the earlier part of the night, and what daryl described him made me realize that i had no clue of that side of him. it made me...kind of felt uncertain...and all the 'what ifs' start to flood in again. What if the current him is a pretence, what if the 'wild' side of him will be the dominance of his character when we proceed on further in the futue, what if the things that he had done were to get certain carrots from me. i'm really afraid. Never did i know that he will drink at such extensive rate, never did i know that he danced with girls in club, and who knows, maybe i still don't know something else that happened when he went clubbing. His birthday party left me shocked, seeing him high on alcohol, ...so rebellious on things i said or his friends told him, for a moment that time, he made me think that he was actually a MCP. He made me confused - he made me wonder which side of him is the real person. But dory, i really do not know if i should really harp on this wild side of him, because suh really likes him now.. T.T

I told him how i felt last night, and till now, we didnt talk. He said he swear that he has become a changed person, and daryl can guarantee. But, how far should i trust what daryl says, afterall both of them are brothers? haiz. i think he's hurt, and i feel really bad. Perhaps suh shouldnt have brought up the topic at all.