School has never been my favorite place to go to.

I remember when i was young, I really hated school. The thought of having to go to school the next day will make me emo for the entire day, and at night i will cry myself to sleep. That explains why most of the time I will go school with puffy eyes. But it was mostly during primary school.

Then that came secondary school, I still hated school, but the thought of band practices, talk cock time, my horn, my crush (at that time) and having someone to sit with me and talk to (then it was ange) kind of calmed me down from the pre-school-reopening syndrome. But at times, I would cry myself to sleep, because I was afraid that I have not studied enough for tests, especially Geography, which I had the least confidence in because it requires so much work. And when I didn’t score well, I will be very moody.

JC times, I was very motivated to go to school, to study, to go for council, but that was also the time where i cried the most, especially when times when i got back my results, which were usually bad (remember most of the times, it would be either GP or Maths). In fact I cried alot during JC time (but of course, secretly, in bed. Don’t really like the idea of people seeing me in tears and mucus).

Throughout all these years, friends have been the main motivation for me to go school. They are the ones who will make me happy.

University years now, but still, school is still not my favorite place. I do not cry that much now, even though the results that I always get back won’t be good, as if I have became immune to it. Seeing the people around me to getting way better results, yeah, I admit at times, I was jealous and disappointed. But the feeling will just come and go very fast. There’s one thing that I realized too, the more I cursed and swear and force myself to study harder, the results will tend to be inversely proportional. I guess that says alot of suh’s strengths.

Damn. This whole entry doesn’t make sense.

Rahh.

i’m just very tired of working so hard towards nothing. feel like giving up…

(T.T )

Perhaps what frog say is right I’m giving myself too much stress. hmm yeah suh, do the best you can. don’t overstress yourself. you know you can. your contribution to student life has proved that you aren’t working towards nothing, there’ll bound to be something that you will be working towards, you’ll realize it soon. Fate will bring it to you. Cheer up! Give your best shot. =)